Disclaimer: Be aware!! This post will be out of the ordinary in that it will not be about my normal obsession. :) Instead, I want to reflect on my recent thoughts. While I will continue my "normal" postings, I hope to include more of these types of posts sporadically in the future. Nothing profound. Just personal convictions and reflections.
"I Repent"
| I repent of my pursuit of America's dream I repent of living like i deserve anything my house, my fence, my kids, and my wife in our suburb where we're safe and white I am wrong and of these things i repent I repent of parading my liberty I repent of paying forvwhat i get for free the way I believe that I am living right by trading sins for others that are easier to hide I am wrong and of these things I repent I repent judging by a law that even I can't keep wearin righteousness like a disguise to see through the planks in my own eyes I repent of trading truth for false unity I repent of confusing peace and idolatry of caring more of what they think than what I know of what they need and domesticating You until You look just like me I am wrong and of these things I repent |
The song is called "I Repent" by Derek Webb. He is not at all concerned about being politically correct or trying to sugar-coat his message in any way. Usually, things repeated over and over in a song irritate me. It makes me think that the writer couldn't come up with any other words to fill up the time. I think what captured my attention in this song is more than just his sincerity of the repeated line "I repent". It's his urgency. He doesn't try to come up with some metaphor for life or being a better Christian. What does that mean anyway? How does a song somehow make you question your "righteous living" or lack there of? I feel like I can't just choose one line as my favorite because then I listen to the song again and change my mind. I'm still not sure what all the words mean in the song. Maybe you can find your favorite. They make me uncomfortable. Honestly, I don't think it's just the words, it's the way he sings it.
The line I choose today is
"I repent, I repent of caring more of what they think than what I know of what they need and domesticating You until You look just like me."
When I was growing up, any time we would leave the house to go hang out with friends or even just to go to school in the morning, we would go in to kiss my parents and my mom's parting words were always "act like Jesus" and "remember whose you are". So true. The question is, am I really interested in Jesus? Not the Jesus I want, but the Jesus who IS. Am I really willing to know and live like HIM? The answer is YES! As loud as I can shout it, YES! I am sick of making Jesus look like me. How long has it been since I have changed something about my life to reflect HIM? What if I really did look like Jesus?
Here's the thing, all these thoughts, reflections, and convictions are great. But the hardest question begs me to answer exactly does this demand of me? After listening to those repeated words, "I repent, I repent", I am forced to consider what is involved in the word "repent". I have to think that repenting is not just great thoughts or intellectual decisions. It has to be more! I think Derek Webb repeats the words because that's the action step I am missing. So many times in the past, I am willing to think about the change but never make it. God, give me the strength to be more!
I repent.
4 comments:
Thanks for posting this, Rachel. I love what your mom told you as a child and think it would be amazing if we all considered that everyday to the point that we began to do it. I love this song too, of course, and I love the way you communicate what's in your heart as you think about it.
The lines that grab me are the one about trading sins for others that are easier to hide (reminds me of the righteous-looking sins that the elder brother favors over the outright sins of the younger) and the one about confusing peace and idolatry. I know that I fall for that one so much... "if I just had this much money or this much education or this friend or that knowledge, I'd be able to feel good about where I am right now. I'd have security and peace."... when God is really the only peace and everything I do to try to attain it without Him, including just being more religious to feel more right, is making idols out of the things I think will finally make me feel at peace and whole.
I've been listening to this song for a long time, but you've really made me think more deeply about it. Thanks for posting. Keep writing... and keep posting pictures of your usual obsession too. They're adorable! :-)
wow...love that song. Sorry this won't be as good of a comment as Natalie, but hey, I try. Seriously, great post. Great thoughts. I read it ALL to Aaron.
Good brief and this fill someone in on helped me alot in my college assignement. Thanks you for your information.
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